Noir

The latest product from CRITAS, currently in phase 2 human trials, Noir offers relief from the intense emotions that can be part of daily life. For those who simply cannot handle happiness, or whose lifestyles would not permit the use of Cheer, Noir offers an alternative that instead removes all emotion from the user.

We do, however, advise caution when medicating with Noir. We've observed a suppression of all emotion-driven impulses; for example, the "fight or flight" response appears to remain dormant while under the influence. Several trial subjects were exposed to bears; in 100% of the cases, the subjects accepted their fates and remained still and appeared unfazed while the bears consumed them.

Due to the above, Noir is currently being evaluated as a potential local anaesthetic for use in developing markets where the post-operative feelings of the user are of little concern to the regimes.